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Who's In Your Life?

This article is dedicated to all the people in our lives.  And I would like to begin by thanking my friends Jovian and SweetieNov for asking me when I’m going to post my next article.  It’s good to see that someone is reading some of my work.

Who is your life?  Have you ever taken a look at the people that you have allowed to be part of your life?  Or have you just let people flow into your life without even considering it. 

From my research and work as a trainer in relationship networking, I’ve noticed that the most successful individuals in any society (regardless of how you define success) are those that consciously choose their friends and others they allow into their life.  But, it goes beyond that.  These successful people also realize the impact different people have and the role they could play in their specific life.

So, in order for us to decide who to let into our lives, we should understand different types of individuals and be able to assess them.  By the way, I teach this in my 3 hour workshop, “Reading People”.  Then, we need to understand the role that these people play and whether we need that role filled in our lives. 

Two broad categories of types of people are toxic and inspiring.  Toxic people are those that intentionally or unconsciously give you a feeling of hopelessness and despair.  Usually after you have a chat with them you feel negative, unmotivated and even a failure or as there is no hope.  Inspiring people are those that after you chat with them you feel like taking on the world, like being the best that you can be.  Some individuals are simply pessimists and others are optimists.  The point is that they all have an impact on our lives and simply by letting them into our circle of influence creates an impact on our life, meeting our objectives and our level of success (or failure).

I encourage you to take an inventory of those you talk to and spend time with and assess how them affect you.  Are they helping you in your progress or hampering you?  If they’re hampering you, you might want to consider redefining your boundaries with them or even relationship.  Sometimes it is better to distance yourself from those that are harming you and to get closer to those that make you feel better or are helping your progress.

As part of an audit of your relationships, I also recommend something that I do once in a while.  Simply write down why you appreciate that person being in your life and what you value about them.  Then pick up the phone and tell each one of them.

So in the spirit of practicing what I preach, I would like to thank:

Judee Regan (author of ‘Meaningful Work…the entrepreneurial way’) for her questioning of my values and why I am so loyal to my relationships and core values.  It reminds me of the man that I am and the price I pay for sticking to my values.

Rio (aerospace engineer and personal trainer) for his high energy personality and the way he makes me feel that I’m a good man.

Dr. Helen (world leading researcher at Johns Hopkins Hospital) for showing me that there are others out there who stick to their commitments and do what they say they’re going to do.  And also for her support in my physical conditioning program.

Dr. Amanda (psychologist from the State Univesity of New York) for sharing with me the perspectives of our American friends over the border and for pointing out new ways of looking at things.

Cheryl (H.R. Consultant) for checking in with me once in a while and letting me know what’s going on in the job market.

Dolores Pian (owner of ‘Spaces’) for her words of encouragement when I went through hard times.  She is one of very few people who still sends cards in the mail and which I really appreciate.

Dave Hankala (insurance advisor) for his continued support and sharing of common interests.  Another man who keeps to his word and values clear communication.  David, the lessons I’ve learned from you though subtle have changed my life.

Erika Marquardt (owner of Healing Arts Institute) as a role model for overcoming the setbacks in her life and not letting anything stop her from achieving her goals.  Erika gave birth to her first child within the last three years.

Mary Joe Marco (owner of Kingsway Health & Beauty) who I introduced to another long-time friend David Marco (past owner of Coconut Grove Intimate Apparels and presently a mortgage broker) and who adopted a child from China.  They too are an inspiration to those of us that looking for love at a mature point in our lives. 

Of course there is much more to thank these individuals for than I’m willing to share here and there are many, many more individuals that I appreciate being in my life.  But, you get the point. 

Who’s in your life and how are they affecting you?

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